


regret

by playitagain



Series: Mayward Week 2020 [3]
Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26861830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playitagain/pseuds/playitagain
Summary: JJ does something stupid and it just so happens to involve Pope.
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Series: Mayward Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956772
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	regret

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Mayward Week 2020!
> 
> Day 3 - October 6th: Mayward + “How much of that did you hear?” + angst

JJ doesn’t really know when he became so close to Kiara but he finds it easy to pull her to the back of The Wreck and out the door. The dumpster smells foul today, but he doesn’t care. He has to get this off his chest because he screwed the fuck up and he couldn’t talk to Pope because it involved him. 

“What the fuck, JJ? I’m on my shift,” Kiara chastises, hands on her hips. JJ doesn’t really pay attention to her words though, instead moving to pace in front of her as he runs his hands through his hair. 

“Fuck! I screwed up,” JJ exclaims. He can’t believe he was so stupid. He can believe he let his guard down like that. “I’m an idiot!”

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know,” Kiara rebuttals, crossing her arms over her chest, hip jutted out indicating her impatience for JJ to explain. It only seems to take her a moment to realize that JJ is being serious though and she drops her arms, reaching out to catch his bicep. It stops the other in his tracks as he turns his gaze at her. She can practically see anguish in his eyes. “What happened? Do we need a lawyer?”

JJ lets out a breath, shoulders slouching as he shakes his head. “No. Nothing like that.” He’s chewing his bottom lip now as he moves to run his fingers through his hair again, a nervous habit and something he often does when he is angry or frustrated. Kiara wasn’t sure what to make of it in this moment. 

“What happened? Was it your dad?” The words have JJ flinching. From what Kiara understands, he hasn’t seen his dad in months but they did live on the same island. There could have been a run in. 

The shack of his head has relief flooding her system. She’s gone through some of the worst case scenarios at this point so she’s sure JJ is just exaggerating. “Okay, then what happened?” 

JJ looks like he is about to run all of a sudden so she steps forward, rubs her hand up and down his arm in a comforting manner. JJ looks dejected in a way that Kiara has never seen before. She doesn’t really know what to make of it. She can’t figure out what happened. 

“I, uh-“ she watches as JJ swallows, shifting his gaze away so he isn’t looking into her eyes. “I kissed Pope.”

She can’t help when her eyes widen in shock, hand falling from JJ’s arm. She had not been expecting that. She had a feeling that JJ liked Pope but she was never quite sure about that one. Apparently she was right. The only problem is that JJ looks like an absolute mess and not in a good way. 

“What? What happened?” She manages to get out around her shock. 

“Fuck! I’m so fucking stupid. I wasn’t going to do this. I wasn’t going to be a burden to him. I don’t want to hinder his future,” JJ groans, face in his hands now. 

That wasn’t what Kiara was expecting. Kiara hates the fact that years of abuse has made JJ think he doesn’t deserve to have something good, that he’ll only hold people back. “JJ, you wouldn’t be a burden-“

JJ cuts her off, slapping her outstretched hand away as she goes to reach for him. She wants to pull him close, reassure him that this will be fine. “Don’t! I fucking screwed up. I can’t drag him down.”

“You won’t-“ 

“Stop! I didn’t come here for a lecture. Fuck. I screwed up.” He is practically yelling at this point, pacing in front of her again in his frustration. Kiara realizes now that all of this frustration and anger is at himself. 

“JJ, do you really regret kissing Pope?” Kiara asks, watches the way that sadness creases his brow. 

“Yes,” he says and Kiara knows it isn’t actually the kiss but giving into his desires, not being able to stop himself from ruining Pope’s life. She wishes she could fix everything for this boy in front of her. 

“What?”

The voice at the back door draws her attention and she turns to see Pope standing there, eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. “ **How much of that did you hear?”** Kiara asks, because he could have heard the whole thing. She hopes but knows that is all it is. Hope. 

“I heard enough,” Pope breaths and the tears are streaming down his cheeks as he turns on his heels, knocking into something before he disappears back into the restaurant. Kiara wants to go after him, turns to do so but JJ stops her. 

“Let him go,” JJ says, catching her arm. He has his eyes on the ground, hair falling into his face. “He’s better off without me.” 

“Oh, JJ,” Kiara breaths, pulls the boy into her chest as he cries into her shoulder. The fact he broke Pope’s heart because he didn’t think he was good enough has her heart aching as she comforts the boy in her arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make my heart happy ☺️


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